Intimacy

You said
that
you desire to remove physicality.
Because in
all actuality you value our friendship/
and
the kinship of
how we just somehow relate.
More than just physique,
what we have is something quite unique.
#Feelingmutual
Though often times neutral,
it’s always cool though
because,
when I seeee yoooooou
the connection is an ever so present
rekindling of past moments.
We
sorta,
kinda,
but really
just
vibe.
Feelings become alive
when I’m around you.
Often inspired,
most times undesiring to hug goodbye,
because
I’m ever chasing this high.
And,
if I can just capture the moment,
I would be somewhat fine.
Well, at least until the next time.
It’s a hit,
so
stay right there;
text messaging
and,
real conversation
and,
respecting the others’ space,
#neverhatin’
Let’s just laugh again
while relatin’ on
#thatmentalhype.
You treat me like
such a lady
and
it feels so amazing.
You don’t just want my body,
tryna get me bodied;
So now, I can really feel…
deep penetration:
mental stimulation
thought formulation
provocation.
Never weird,
though
strangely odd;
more of out of the ordinary,
and,
I like the feelings I get
with each experience.
Time spent ,
yes, I’m quite confident
of this embodiment.
#pureenjoyment

You see,
truth is that
I’ve never really gotten past the moment,
because it’s hard for me to hold back and
express feeling without emotion.
So, I’ll admit it.
I like holdin hands
and cuddlin’.
Which
I know
tends to lead to more than
“just friends.”
So yes, while it is a good thing;
the building trust in
and confiding in,
being seen as more than
just the next woman.
I’m really kinda fearful.
Of…
the time we spend;
writing and,
late nights spent,
romancin’
and then others,
holding hands trying to build something;
#writersunite
Forget making plans,
I’m
holding on to what you said
because,
until then transcends now,
I suggest that we allow
this interest in
to remain interestin’
through intimance,
and going deep within;
penetrating
and
hittin ish
until we get those
juices
f
l
o
w
i
n’.
When you be flowin’ in,
and goin in,
I feel it within,
every inch of my being.
You give it just how I like it,
yea you got that bomb ish;
such an amazing lyricist…
that
#SUPERstarstatus
You be
hittin it
and comin’ in;
Make me come again.
#creativeexchanges
As I allow you to
enter in:
this intimance,
Unprotected.
This level of vulnerability
requires transparency.
And,
if you keep allowing me,
most assuredly,
then eventually,
we evidently,
create intimacy
until
the ultimate (new) release
#justflowwithme

Your Birthday

It was your birthday

and I was the gift he presented

To you,

With you in mind,

he picked it…

the date,

place,

yes, even the time.

He loaned himself,

and

I borrowed the moment.

Cheers to yooooou,

It was me that he came to see

on

your birthday.

Your gift he desired to spend on me

willfully.

Loving on,

doting on,

devoting your time,

while

giving his attention.

He gave us both a promise:

his illusion

It was I who answered when you called,

said “Hi.”

Hello,

your rebuttal was “Why?”

Goodbye

I opted to end it…

prematurely

it pained me to digest the sound of your hurt;

the sadness,

of which I had the task of bearing witness.

And yes, I’ll even admit it:

I aided the culprit.

It was he who created this madness;

perpetual confusion.

No vested interest,

just left us with the high priced tag,

our emotions taxed,

and we had to pay.

Please forgive me Dear Birthday Girl,

let’s toast to us…

Sealed with Your Kiss,

On My Lips

Copyright © 2012 Rayne

Spiritual Magnetism

Staring...
intently into mine
his eyes pierce my inner soul
fragmenting the core of my being.
Vulnerable,
yet refusing to lose,
mine battle his.
Enchanted.
The emission invokes a supernatural occurrence
and
I denounce my position of authority
overwhelmed by the spiritual intensity
of
first sight.
I bear witness
to
God’s anointing power
permeating the spirit realm.
Baffled,
I persist; relinquished by the moment.
Once rushed time
now stands
unhurried.
Lives adjoin
worlds transplant
spirits interlace
as hearts
now ponder.
Questions emerge
and I remain.
Captivated.
Surrendering amid the mounting transparency
of our conspicuous exchange,
his eyes digress...
diffusing the once imprisoned connection.
Momentarily at best.
In desperation,
his eyes seek mine
only to find spiritual magnetism
imploring
once more...

My Cries Didn't Go Unheard

"When will it be my turn?!” I emphatically wail.

“Why do I love so freely, so hard, and yet, it’s never reciprocated?” I retrieve my glass and imbibe the last drop.

“What is so wrong with me?” Tears now stream profusely.

“What have I done to deserve this?” My perpetual sobs now yield a blaring headache. Hyperventilating, I try to catch the last breath; reminiscing my mother’s departure...Holding onto her garment, only age 5; love was still cultivating, yet prematurely deprived.

My next breath inhales memories of the many loves I held onto…once found, only to be lost, while I was still holding on…I exhale, letting go of a ten year marriage.

“It simply is not fair.” A nostalgic image of the self I grew so fond of that I believed “she” was the answer washes away with the next tear.

“Why God, WHY??!!” I am trying to make sense of it all.

“Please help me!!”

A being emerges; sleepily. Approaching me, I feel a warm kiss upon my tear stained cheek.

The visual of innocence is now conspicuous as my ears capture a voice: “I love you mommy,” my daughter utters.

Her consequential embrace comforts me before returning to her slumber, no longer interrupted. I sob at the revelation of my answer, knowing that my daughter didn’t hear my cries, but it was God who answered my pleas.

Drained, I find my way to bed, and nestle alongside my two daughters.

As I drift into a serene sleep, I whisper “I love you guys,” and hold onto to my children a bit tighter.

As our dreams coincide, my heart rests peacefully.

Solidified, and content knowing that although I may not have any(one) to reciprocate the love I give so timelessly, I have (two) lying right here beside me; always holding on, and forever loving me…

The Beauty of Your Eyes

My vision has captured the World’s most beautiful eyes, emitting the mysteries of a profound soul.

Mystifying desire summons, burning with infatuation.

Captivating glimpses of:

a child-like innocence

an unconditional love

the hidden pain

And

longing desires

of a fateful destiny.

The intimate visual penetrates an illusion of heaven; its spiritual ecstasy ascending to places yet to be seen.

Share with me the magic, and allow me to stare into the beauty of your eyes…

Until this moment transcends forever

MOTHER

Surrogate
Biological
Adoptive
Foster
Step
In-Law
Portrayals of a mother
Parent
The bosom of a parent bears the heart of a mother.
Irreplaceable, she could never be another
Often duplicated
Closely replicated
Highly under-rated
Clearly stated.
The epitome of a lover.
Woman
Her
She.

Is...Queen of the human race.
Female
Lady
Mother… nature
Nurtur(h)er
Fight(h)er
Lov(h)er
Comfort(h)er
Conceived by the person also known as: Mom. Mommy. Mama. Ma.
She that births beauty, nurtures love, and yields abundantly, can only be called a Mother.

Naked

Stripped.
Bare.
Vulnerable.
Combating this feeling of love…
A battle which derives from thoughts which she can’t quite divulge…
Because, while adamant that she has no clue of what’s in store,
what she detects is the chemistry that’s constantly evoked,
and her yielding to the intense desire of wanting more.
They’ve managed to contrive a compound deciphering a new basic element of life…
H2One of which can never be attained twice.
Although she could never suffice her value for the feelings that she feels,
fervent thoughts and emphatic emotions ignites a seething fire…
one that rages insatiably.
Her feelings are revealed through intimacy, exposing the truth of her inner being.
A vulnerable child who conceals herself.
Locked.
Guarded.
Hidden.
Away with the key, never to be found…
Out of fear.
Why then can’t she discern what’s real?
Or faux.
Maybe it’s best that she remains invisible… ghost.
Because, the cost may be too much to pay.
And If it is so, why it is that she continues to play...
with fire?
She repulses liars, empty desires, and dangerous admirers,
so, reiterate once more then, why she settles for this uncertain feeling of which disappointment is bound to transpire?

Copyright © 2009 Rayne

I Gave You ALL of Me

I gave you all of me.
Every inch, ounce, piece, and bit of me.
Genuinely;
I offered you me, the one that only few bare witness or gain the right to see.
Many wish, desire, and long for me, not one of them could ever be… because only you, could I give my entirety.
Openly;
Why did I give you so much of me?
Certainly; I was stupid to give you my heart, love, and allow you to partake in my ecstasy.
Because clearly, you didn’t want me, only the use of my body.
Damn, this is hard for me, and you never even uttered sorry…
I take it as you being ignorant and immature…
translation: a nobody.
Even presently;
I admire your creativity…
the initial plan, hashed out, implemented, but in the end, it was only you that cashed out.
Then you chalk it up as having clout?
Now that, I highly doubt…
because coward is more befitting, it’s the name you should tout.
You say I should just let it be?
Look at me, do you not see my feelings? Tear stained cheeks…slowly drying.
I wish to rewind, back to the time when m.e. was e.m., still me, only inadvertently. Fast forward…
Now look at me.
Pitiful, sorry, wasted, and abused…
never once did I see any clues.
The way I feel? I ache to heal.
Damaged goods, leftovers, expired, not even recyclables, just someone NOT for hire. When then will I love again?
Unanswered.
I still need time for my heart to mend.
And then… is when I can possibly love again.
Reluctantly; this time, can I only offer glimpses, visuals, some of, and only part of me

Copyright © 2009 Rayne

Obscure Intent

Look into my eyes and tell me what you see:
An elated openness?
An eager yearning?
The disposition of my inward substance is learning…
to disclose the epitome of me.
Is my intent ambiguous?
Or my feelings merely obsolete?
The expression of the love I have come to know one can only wish to grow.
To evolve and revolutionize.
Or, am I setting myself up for a somber demise?
At times, I feel as though I may have stumbled upon a pleasant surprise…
While others?
I wish to hide…
enamored in full disguise.
Self exile,
wanting to exhale,
hoping that in the process,
the ex’s will somehow fail…
or better yet,
not come to pass.
For in my heart there lives this thing called love,
with intensity quite vast.
"Too fast." you reveal?
My rebuttal…
"What I feel is REAL."
Even still,
this feeling that I now know,
only resides here…
In my heart.
Yours?
Close, but even further apart...
Well at least that’s a start.
Because in order to win, it must first begin, and then…
only time, improvement, and discovery is when…
the once obscure intent can culminate into whatever is meant…
while in the process, I am emotionally spent.
My feelings have yet to relent...
or better yet, circumvent
allowing whatever is meant.
To be.
We?
Only time will tell…
And in the meanwhile,
there remains You, Me, and many possibilities...

Copyright © 2009 Rayne