"When will it be my turn?!” I emphatically wail.
“Why do I love so freely, so hard, and yet, it’s never reciprocated?” I retrieve my glass and imbibe the last drop.
“What is so wrong with me?” Tears now stream profusely.
“What have I done to deserve this?” My perpetual sobs now yield a blaring headache. Hyperventilating, I try to catch the last breath; reminiscing my mother’s departure...Holding onto her garment, only age 5; love was still cultivating, yet prematurely deprived.
My next breath inhales memories of the many loves I held onto…once found, only to be lost, while I was still holding on…I exhale, letting go of a ten year marriage.
“It simply is not fair.” A nostalgic image of the self I grew so fond of that I believed “she” was the answer washes away with the next tear.
“Why God, WHY??!!” I am trying to make sense of it all.
“Please help me!!”
A being emerges; sleepily. Approaching me, I feel a warm kiss upon my tear stained cheek.
The visual of innocence is now conspicuous as my ears capture a voice: “I love you mommy,” my daughter utters.
Her consequential embrace comforts me before returning to her slumber, no longer interrupted. I sob at the revelation of my answer, knowing that my daughter didn’t hear my cries, but it was God who answered my pleas.
Drained, I find my way to bed, and nestle alongside my two daughters.
As I drift into a serene sleep, I whisper “I love you guys,” and hold onto to my children a bit tighter.
As our dreams coincide, my heart rests peacefully.
Solidified, and content knowing that although I may not have any(one) to reciprocate the love I give so timelessly, I have (two) lying right here beside me; always holding on, and forever loving me…
